There are many of you who will have heard this story already, but it seemed rude not to share with you in a lterary form that may be re-read and shared aloud.
It all began in late November, when I had started to get daily headaches that seemed to originate from my eyes. It was a weird feeling and this is the best description I can muster to convey such experiences. I decided that, due to the pain, it was necessary to visit an optician, which wasn't a difficult desicion, since I love tests and interactive exams.
I was on my way to Morisons for my bi-weekly food shop (I cannot explain how much I enjoy these occassions, so i will simply mention that Online grocery purchasing is the devil) and I spotted a 'Specsavers' in the same shopping complex. I strolled into the open fronted shop and was instantly greeted by a young blonde girl who was eager to assist me, I assumed that this was simply in reference to Eye-care, looking back on it I may have missed a trick. Ah well, had I engaged in intrapersonal flirtatious communications, i may not have this same story to tell.
The attractive blonde girl informed me that a basic eye examination was 5 pounds and there was an appointment free in 5 minutes if i cared to wait. I couldn't believe my luck, only 5 pounds and timing had favoured me perfectly, so I sat. After 5 minutes of trying to avoid watching a family dispute while still avidly following the progress of said debacle, I was called over and ushered into a small under-lit room with a desk and a poor-mans excuse of a dentistry chair.
The lady that greeted me was approximately thirty years old, of asian persuasion and still reading the 'smiling for dummies' yellow book. I sat on the beige fake leather chair awaiting the excitement of an eye-test. I attempted to lighten the inevitably starined mood between client-professional relationship with a couple of light-hearted quips. To say they were'nt received well would imply that they were acknowledged in the first place. They weren't. Eventually the 'special' glasses were finished with, the 'red or green' part was also over and all that remained was to shine the torch into my eyes, close-up.
Did she turn the light back on? No, of course not. It was pitch black with no screens on any longer. She crept over to me, lowered the chair and delibertaly stood with her left leg in between my two legs and the other outside my right leg. This striked me as unusual. She then began to look into my eye, instantly my eyes began to stream (I am ridculously sensetive to light), She asked me to look in every direction (Up...Up to the left...Left....Down to the...etc.), yet there was a suprising amount of time elapsing between each new command. However, there were other more pressing things, literally! Although I would not call this lady overweight, she was by no means slim and she was so close to me by now that I was being "treated" to a sample of her petruding anatomy. This became less of a situation when she took it one step further and began to caress my nose with hers, i couldn't be sure wether it was accidental until the fourth time when I obviously flinched backwards. This caused her to finish with the light and with no further words, light consumed the room once again.
I was left floundering, I was in two minds whether to mention that i had just had mye eyes tested by an amateur Masseuse (can't be bothered looking up if that is the right spelling) and a poor one at that, but before I could even contemplate this desicion I saw her there staring at me from behind the reception area. i left promptly.
She told me I needed glasses full-time.
I went to tescos for a free eye-test.
They told me they could be useful when in over-lit situations of looking at a screen.
I have glasses and this story. All for £20. (Glasses were £15)
In a bit. Love J.
No comments:
Post a Comment