Christmas Timing, Some Funky Rhyming?

Not today, cos I got something to say.
I guess you've all met a guy or two who lied to you,
that "we've all forgotten the reason of this festive season".
If you didn't quite catch that, I'll lay it down bare,
I do happen to believe that, this here quote ain't that fair.

If Christmas is all about he who was born,
and he who was born was all about love.
And love is all about He who's above,
who came down on him as a dove.
Then surely it follows that Christmas,
is more about the gift made of glass,
given from one loved one to another,
rather than to find and smother,
with a message of morbid news,
spreading plenty of Christmas blues.

Christmas found form in the pagan festival,
but became more like a global giving carnival.
Seems to me, that Christmas has come to be,
more about a family around a tree,
giving gifts for all to see, how much they love just to be.
This is love.

Long Lost Friends

Barry was a slender man with gentle features and one of the big wooly bobble hats that it has become permissable to wear without torrents of ridicule ensuing. As he was shuffling his way through a crowd, walking tactically as not to thrust anyone into the dessert stand or knocking someone into a flamboyant waiter flapping through the large hall offering unbelievably small appetisers, a younger and heavy set man powerfully and deliberately crashed into the shoulder of Barry. One of Barry's knees buckled at the pressure and he stumbled to remain standing. Alarmed but seemingly unshaken, Barry addressed the man, who was now gloating over him grinning smugly.

Barry - "Hiya Trev. You old joker. How's life bruva?"
Trevor - (Changing his look from smug to disappointed) "Hmm. Well this conference ain't all that. I told them I could have ran it better. This place is too 'nice'. It's revolting."

Barry seemed to ignore this comment and glided swiftly towards an incoming waiter and thrust a gourmet salmon puff into Trevor's hand, before questioning him further.

Barry - "So, How's the new business since you left me?"
Trevor - "Haha. I left you so long ago now. Best thing I ever did. You're company is going down. You're all up in the clouds. Idiots!"
Barry - (Politely) "Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it over there. I must say though. I wish you had never left us. I could have given you so much work by now."
Trevor - (Angrily) Are you mad? Working for you was awful. You're stuck in the dark ages. People don't want what you've got anymore. It's an Ideal, nothing more. In fact, it's not even a popular one either. Not since my recent Re-Launch. Hahaha. You're welcome." (Trevor mockingly bows low)
Barry - " You have got something people are buying from you. I have to admit that, you're becoming highly infectious. But there are a lot out there who still support me. I get regular letters and phone calls of how they are interested in what i offer still."
Trevor - (Smircking in full force by now) "Haha. i believe that. That is all you've been reduced to, fans, who scream yo...no whisper your name and then walk out the door and buy my product for the rest of the week and as you know very well. It's the figures that count, not compliments or feedback!
Barry - "Although that maybe true right now, it will not always be this way. One day it will change. I will never not be here. I will never give up. And if you ever change your mind, there will always be a seat waiting here for you."

Trevor grimaced but held out his hand, as Barry went to shake hands with Trevor, Trevor threw a powerful fist directly into the centre of Barry's chest, smashing him to the floor breathless and bewildered. Then Trevor, spat at him and strolled away while tugging on the lapelles of his top of the range suit as if he had just crawled under a bush.
Barry was left alone gazing up at the stunning celing with people frantically sharing ideas concerning how they could help him, but not one of them knelt down to help Barry Love.

Textual Critism! Spiralic Solutions!

There's only so far you can go with Mobile Phones. Once they've taken the iphone and triangled off the sides (since we've already had sqauared and rounded) then it'll be Game. Set. But not match, here's why...

No matter who you are, where you live, what colour you wear, what your favourite movie is or any other obscure and infinetly useless facts about you, there will be a moment when you've been completely and utterly misunderstood. Maybe you hit on a guy by "accident", maybe you ordered some high heel pink cowboy boots "inadvertantly", or maybe you're one of the unlucky ones who ended up married after one crazy night of textual misunderstanding! Trust me, it happens. I have a friend who remembers that painful night every night before they rest their heavy head onto their pillow. Whatever the weather, we've all been there and we've all argued about the wrong thing in a cruel mix up. In fact, as I am writing this, I am reminded of only yesterday a couple I am friends with sat with me and painfully relived their worst argument and how did it start? Yeah you guessed it! A dramatic mix up via a text related substance!!!

I can tell that you are now screaming at the screen, "But, what's the solution you big cuddly clown?!?!?". Well , here it is. I'll let you on my great invention. Admitedly, it is in the initial stages of product development and is yet to be subjected to a thorough product analysis and in depth study from the Innovation expert - Karl Pilkington. However, the idea is as follows, one visits the local Spin Clinic and recieves a chip that is implanted just under the surface on the head somewhere, they then will register a unique secretcode (SC) that is intrinsically linked to their own chip. (Some may even want to give their own chip a name, this is the reason for the lack of specific product name for said chip.)

They will then be able to communicate with anyone within a 2 mile vicinity (to begin with, like a trial, before releasing it to a world wide limitation) telepathically via the chip, obviously only if they have the SC of the person they wish to 'Spin' with. Once you have registered the SC of a friend or colleague you can then Spin with them as soon as the Re:connect with their connect request.

i know many of you might have more questions. I will try to answer the biggest. Yes there will be attachments for colours, group sortings and connectcode edit software (allowing you to chose the exact thought that will cross your mind when a specific person attempts to connect with you).

Spinning is the future. So, as the Scout motto begs... Be Prepared!

In abit. Love J.

Ethics Explored!

Everybody, well most people, maybe not most people, a lot of people like to think that they have a good, or at least appropriate system of ethics. One that usually (in Western Society, or at least my experience and study of it) consists of a 'healthy' balance of self love, a minimum of delibertate pain-causing and an adherance of the 'big' laws. Did you ever sit down and chose your own ethical structure or, like me, did you discover youself living somwhere on this balance?

Only yesterday my ethics were tested. I was at ASDA with a friend of mine, who will remain nameless ahem..Arron..cough, and we were purchasing some fireworks, beer and a scarf - all the essentials for a mainc night of funfilled madness of the day after Bonfire Night! When we arrived at the 'cheeky checkout' (pretty sure that should definately catch on) I paid for the beer and fireworks and post-payment, as I was stuffing them into a couple of flimsy carrier bags, my friend threw the scarf into the baggage area and mumbled something like "have you got this?". So like any focused packer, I crammed it in with the beer and thoguht nothing of it.

It was not until we were almost at the car, did I realise that there may have been something wrong with this issue. I asked him if it had been paid for and he looked at me as if I speaking in ancient greek. So, after realising that the scarf had been in his hand behing the counter until many seconds after the exchange of tender had occured, it seemed to make sense that the scarf was now in fact, STOLEN GOODS.

The following thought process is one of laziness versus responsibility. The next 3 minutes at the car consisted of a discussion on who was to blame. (I still think that this point is a ludacris one even to consider, since he held it in his hand untill after the payment, then proceeded to throw it into the bagging area and allowed me to leave the store without mentioning what should have been blatantly obvious by now, that I hadn't paid for the £3 scarf!) Anyway, I would like to say that amongst all the disagreement that the actuality of the scarf stealing issue was lost, but that would simply not be true. As we found ourselves driving towards the exit of the Superstore, the overwhelming sense of morality or guilt flooded the adrenaline that was burning through my veins in anticipation of pulling off my first real heist.

Hopefully, needless to say that I swung the car round and returned to thankfully a different CC-Assistant where I explained the situation with phrases like: "my friend was confused", "you know how it happens mate" and "he's clueless". The scarf is now officially and legally my own personal possesion and you see said scarf on facebook shortly (See Bonfire Madness Collection).

The point is this, we all find ourselves adhering to a set of principles and ethics that seem to control of emotional being. Did we choose them? Do you want to choose them? and What would you choose? Personally, I would prefer to have a ethical structure that is based on self improvement, loving others and obeying laws that would otherwise get me into trouble. That's me. So next time you go to ASDA with a friend like this be aware! Or if your morality allows, be this friend!

In a bit. Love J.

A Tale of Two!

For tonight's unique posting, I have two distinct and somewhat seperate thoughts although the combination is definately an area that requires some exploration, as you will see.

The first thought is this - Halloween.
Just over a week ago, in an adhoc conversation with a girl from church, I was cordially invited to her house on the night of October 31st. My instinctive response, like many of yours would be (i assume), was (reasonably excitedly) "Oh you're having a Halloween party? Awesome! I'm coming as a Vampire!". This comment did not elicit the response i had anticipated.

To put is simply, she kindly assumed that i had been joking about the existence of a Halloween party and proceeded to tell me that a Vampire was not an appropriate choice for her gathering. As I know very few young people in this city I have recently moved into, I simply cannot afford to be turning down invites or disputing the validity of Halloween. So, before you know it I am signed up to attend an anti-halloween party. Which I later mused that I am anti-anti-Halloween parties, lol.

The party consisted of a considerable amount of glow sticks (which are awesome in all circumstances), decorating cakes and saw over 180 kids stop by to join in these festivities, which in truthfulness I missed the bulk of watching football. Anyway, I do have a point, she isn't the only one who seems to enjoy the giving side of Halloween. And I'm not just talking about Christians or Anti-Halloweeners, there seems to be a plethora of people who prepare and eagerly await TorT's.

I find this mildly Ironic, since I would suggest that well over 90% of TorT's have little or no intention of Tricking the victim's residence any longer, and halloween has evolved and transformed into a holiday (holiday seems strong since nobody in the world gets this day off) of giving and therefore by way of works, quite a christian holiday.

my second thought is not related. Taking a bath. There is something incredibly relaxing about settling down into a hot lathery tub of water. However, when one of my best friends informed me that he sits in the bath while it fills up, I was bemused (which I think is definately a word creation of bedazzled and confused), since the stepping into the hotness is nearly all of the fun. Is that only me and are the rest of the world missing out on the stepability of bathing or is just him?
Need a good bath song? try Gravity by John Mayer. You won't regret it!

In a bit. Love J.

TWLOHA

I just bought two T-Shirts from the Non-Profit Organisation 'To Write Love On Her Arms'. One Green (I'm trying to branch out in terms of colours within wadrobage) and one Black. To say that these shirts are popular in the States is like saying that there's a few random people who actually watch X-Factor.

Needless to say, that when I live in Florida, although wanting  to embrace the loveness, it simply wasn't an option.

When the shirts arrived, there was a postcard with the order, which sums up what the organisation stands for, it read: 

"She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of 'friends' offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write 'Fuck up' large across her left forearm.
Stop the Bleeding.
Rescue is Possible.
Love is the Movement."

Having encountered only a handful of people in my life that have suffered from depression or cutting, I am no expert. However, the heartache that one experiences when listening to the story of someone who has suffered from these issues is as intense as I have ever felt. None of us are ever quite sure how to help someone in this position and I'll be honest, learning more of TWLOHA, buying a shirt or signing up on their e-mail list may well not help in that situation. But it may well help someone and make more people aware of the issues facing so many young people today.

www.twloha.com

In a bit. Love J.

Why not?

Here's an idea. I'll throw it at you and lets see where it goes. I've been thinking recently about a new appliance for the kitchen, or like most appliances today for the side-arm of a Laz-e-boy.

Picture a microwave, but instead of heating things up in a matter of seconds it actually ices things. Let's call it the Iceowave. 

Basically, in less than thirty seconds you can take any can of coke or bottle of bud, lob it in the Iceowave and bingo it's Ice cold and crazy tasty. Listen, I'm not talking fridge cool, I'm talking a new level of Iceness. The sort of cool that even the Icey commercials can't convey. What's that? can it deal with metal? Answer - Yeah, course it can, we sorted all that out, man was that annoying.

Next thing you know you'll be Icing Bananas, blending cherries and chucking them in the Iceowave with some double cream, then Boom Cherry IceCream and a useless banana.

How can we make this work? Not my concern, I'm a Thought-Creator (see Blog #2). Are you an Executor? If so, Get it done. Mention my blog when you make it big!

In a bit. Love J. 

Lost Ambitions

This morning I read this quote on someones facebook wall.

"Shoot for the moon because if you miss you will fall among the stars"

Although the logicality of this is clearly mental, it's sufficiently cheesy to sort of get away with it. Needless to say the quote was on a girl's page and also inevitably the culprit was American. However, she also had a list of fifteen things that she would like to do before she leaves the party. Now let me tell you, in light of some of the things she wrote, getting to the moon seems more than plausible. Yet, it did make me think about what my own goals were for life, like I'm not sure I've properly written them down since I was a crazy 12.

So here's my top 10 (at almost 10am)
1. Become fluent in Spanish and Sign
2. Write a full length novel that is released into mainstream book selling.
3. Have Kids.
4. Perform in front of more than 5000 people.
5. Visit every continent.
6. Save a life.
7. Get a hot tub.
8. Sky Dive.
9. Live in very close proximity with any of my boys.
10. Be a great husband.

Maybe you fancy it. Maybe you fancy me. I encourage you to call me if the latter is true.

"Look up at the stars, you'll never catch them, but you'll enjoy the view"

In a bit. Love J.

Executors, Thought Creators and Catalystors!

There are three types of people in this world. Executors, Thought Creators (TC's) and Catalystors.

Executors are the doers of this funny old world, in short - they do stuff! It may seem like they are the foundation of the economical structure and the backbone of formal society as we know it. And, maybe thats true, in fact it's almost definately true. I have a good friend who is an Executor, he gets it done. He studies hard, he puts in too much effort, it might be said that he even is too committed (ie. he sells out to the surrounding culture to get it done better). Executors are usually well organised and efficient. They are also usually the leader of friend groups and great multi-taskers.

TC's are the creators, the innovators and the fixers. These people usually like a little of anything and everything, they are usually the game-creators, wannabe artists, and performers. They can be easily distracted, unfocused and lack perseverance. I have a friend who is a TC, he is easily excitable, loves to laugh and imagine new and crazy things. They are usually fun to be around and easy to talk to, yet hard to tie down.

Catalystors are enablers, they make it possible for the previous two to exist, uselessly modifying ideas, issuing orders over Executors hard at work, claiming to be busy whenever wherever. I also have a friend who is a Catalystor. He is all of these things, he is a typical procrastinator, he is also easily one of the funniest people I know, he also has a mild form of ADHD. Is he lazy? Wellll....

I am reading a book for work which emphasises the need to capitalise and eccentuate your strengths instead of your weaknesses. So figure out which one you are, play to those strengths, try not to let the weaknesses concern you. This collection of thoughts (which has turned out way too unentertaining than I ever planned. But I'm a believer in sitting down to write and leaving the uneditted ill-thought out nonsense that follows on the page rather than re-writing) proves the need for starters and finishers and the existence of inbetweeners.

Sidenote. There is a kid in my class who is part of a crew called... wait for it... 'Bottom-Enders'! 

In a bit. love J.

Start, because thats all that counts...

I'm a creative soul. (Soul is a funny word that I don't think anyone knows what it really means)

So, there are many times in this crazy old world when I get the urge to write a sitcom, paint life, sing a new song, dance for you, play with fire, film a short, or even blog. I start, there's rarely a middle and maybe once there has been an ending.

I'm not suggesting that endings have no worth. I mean after all I spent 4 years studying the most famous unfinshed literature this world have ever known. Endings are simply over-rated.

I thought I wanted 'Lost' to end - turns out, I didn't! When I was eleven, I was convinced I wanted Primary School to end - yeah you got it, I didn't. Ending is what we all seem to crave but are immensely scared of its arrival.

My last example could be a personal issue, but i am consistently perturbed by the concept of Eternity. I want to live forever and on the same hand it would scare me to lose any form of ending.

All of the creative 'projects' that I have started and been way too passionate about and completely naive about their completion. However, I look back on all of them and remember them with fondness and joy (Ok, joy may be strong, but it's all I had). I never once had to admit that the sitcom isn't quite good enough for Sky1, or that I'm not the undiscovered break dancer that one semi-drunk beginner B-Boy told me in a dark and dirty rock club as he attempted to break-battle me, or perform 'Snake Song' to so many audiences to realise that it isn't quite catchy enough to propel me to an appropriate level of fame where I would coincidently bump into Emma Watson at a party.

Anyway, examples aside, next time some wannabe guru preposterously advises you that everything you start must be followed through to completion. Turn around and Begin to tell them 'Start because thats...' and walk away feeling utterly satisfied.

In a bit. Love J.